Wednesday, March 28, 2007

This is my life in Asia

Language proficiency is part of the experience of living overseas. This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a member of the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in the Far-East Economic Review.

Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.

Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.

Room Service: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?

Hotel Guest: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Room Service: Ow July den?

Hotel Guest: What?Room Service:Aches. Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch...?

Hotel Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.

Room Service: Ow July dee baycome? Crease?

Hotel Guest: Crisp will be fine.

Room Service: Hokay. An Santos?

Hotel Guest: What?

Room Service: Santos. July Santos?

Hotel Guest: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.

Room Service: No. Judo one toes?

Hotel Guest: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judoone toes" means. I'm sorry.

Room Service: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping webother?

Hotel Guest: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

Room Service: We bother?

Hotel Guest: No. Just put the bother on the side.

Room Service: Wad?

Hotel Guest:I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Room Service: Copy?

Hotel Guest: I feel terrible about this but...

Room Service: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...

Hotel Guest: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

Room Service: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy.Rye?

Hotel Guest: Whatever you say.

Room Service:Hokay. Tendjewberrymud.


freetobeme said...

Oh, you made me laugh! So, how did it turn out? Scrambled eggs with English muffin and honey, or what?

Uncle Bill said...

I have a hearing loss, so if I had to deal with that dialect I would be at a real loss. When I was still a teenager, my doctor said I would be deaf and dumb by the time I was fifty. Well, I am several years past fifty and the doctor is half right in his prediction. I am not deaf yet, but I feel awfully dumb at times.